- Me most of my life (via pull-of-the-ocean)
what has four letters and is very hard
when you realise you’ve eaten more than the rest of your friends at a party
Sam slowly twirled off the cap; but with his shaken hands it fell to the floor face down. The hazel eyes swooshed to the floor where he could only stare for a moment cursing in his head; “shoot..” he mumbled under his breath, bending down to pick up the cap that he now had to rinse. Moving towards the sink he let the water drain over it rinsing off any and all dirt. But what would be the point, his hands were dirtier than the cap falling onto the floor. His blood was unclean. Everything about him wasn’t clean. Bleach couldn’t wipe away his sins.
Trying to wipe the thoughts clean from him, he managed to turn and see his brother, snoring? Was he talking about his snoring last night? He was up most of the night doing research, and what little sleep he got, he definitely wasn’t snoring.
"You know Dean, you may have been a good liar with- the king of hell, dad and even Cas.” he emphasized more of Castiel’s name than anything, a quick lick to his lips and the strap on bitch face appeared, making Sam look more tense.
"But- you’ve never been a good liar with me." he laughed, shaking his head leaning on the counter, finding himself staring back into his brother’s now untrustworthy eyes. Maybe it was too personal, but what could be more personal than hearing from his door Castiel? The grunts that were echoing in the halls actually scared Sam half to death, he thought his brother was battling some sort of monster.
"I thought you were-" he paused leaning forward to whisper in a grunt;
"Dean?!" The tall figure shouted in the halls hearing the groans and slamming of something near his room, the concern on his face vanished though when he heard a moan of the name; "Cas"
Sam folded his arms his stern horse face only staring harder into his brothers eyes;
Dean took in short reluctant breaths as he gazed up at his younger brother, mentally tracing every stern muscle that bulged from his face. He hated seeing his brother like this… so disappointing … So disturbed. He knew Sam has his own possessive thoughts provoking him, he knew that there still wasn’t something right… something that he couldn’t ever find the nerve to pinch after that one incident and Sam didn’t ever seem to hesitate from bringing it up.
They handled things different, Sam was the type to show no signs of any human emotion. He would go out of his way to deliberately ignore you and let you know that he was aggravated and when it comes down to talking about it, Sam is the one who gets to call the shots when he feels like discussing any kind of feelings. not you, Sam.
Not much like Dean; Dean know he handled most of his problems like a teenager. He took things out on himself, regretting every decision made. Like always he started it by secluding himself from anything that reminded him of that moment. Then out came the liquor and endless nights of meaningless sex.
All thoughts aside, Dean turned around as he continued the making of the burgers that sit silently on the counter. Pulling out cheese and placing it on top of the meat. Delicately making everything look perfect, while attempting to draft out his thoughts before speaking.
"I really wish I wanted to talk about this right now Sammy" Dean declared as he finished up the display of the burgers, grabbing both plates and walking over to the table. Placing one on his and the other on the opposite end.
"Alright I’m sorry Sammy. But you just caught me at a bad time last night and you and I both know it has been awhile since" He shrugged of a gesture that was understood "… a guys gotta do what a guys gotta do"
♪There are angels all around you
Before you were born they found you
Gently listen to your wisdom
You’ve been kissed a million times
Something’s wrong with your eyes
Again you refuse to smile
I wish you could see what I see
You are heaven’s dream♪
Okay, maybe it wasn’t just him alone in his room, but Sam would never know that.
Dean sure was acting weird with him, Sam moved the paper down and took a small sip of the now warm coffee, he almost wanted to drop about what he had seen last night but he decided not to talk about it. It sure did baffle Sam and it made him think about it constantly.
Standing he moved towards the fridge to get some cream to go with the coffee, the flavoured kind to give it a nice little taste, or rather flavour.
However the comment his older brother gave him, made him hold the carton and inhaled, biting on the bottom of his lip.
Was his only comment to the other as he poured some of the liquid into the coffee mug, just what could he even say to that? Dean was yet again doing that little thing he always managed to do to Sam. “Dean..” he said in a short breath, almost warm, yet the conversation wouldn’t go this way.
Sam couldn’t even muster the right words, or vocabulary to pronounce such a thing; using his hand to swipe back his bangs he coughed before questioning;
"What did I hear last night in your bedroom?"
He watched his brother like a hawk, taking a small mental note of his sudden change in taste for black coffee and wondered when did that replace his taste buds. As usual he considered it and his thought scrabbled in his mind once again, Dean turned around to the stove to check on his burgers before he came to the conclusion that they were done. Placing the spatula under one of the succulent patties, picking it up and lightly shaking it onto a bun that lay on a plate on the counter.
Glancing over at Sam did he take in his slow movements towards the fridge. Dean followed his brother slowly trailing behind his dry words.
What did he hear last night? Dean questioned himself before feeling a sudden twitch within his body.
Oh… that’s what he heard.
"If you’re taking about your snoring. Yeah, I heard it too" Dean stated, eyes fluttering and heart heavy within his chest. He wouldn’t consider himself a great liar, he had done it in the past many times before. If it was to a demon, the king of hell, heck even to dad. He always knew a way out of these white lies and he was going to anything it took to get out of this one.
"Y’know I hear something about these nose strips, that help open the airwaves to your lungs or something like that….and that actually help with problems like that"